The interesting point, is that in many non-abrahamic creation myths, (the) god(s) did not create a single original human couple; but instead several humans of both genders.
Wise. The Judaic creation myth is stolen, anyway, from Zoroastrianism where Adam and Eve are named Mashya and Mashyana. Now, you’d think having a script to work off they’d do some necessary editing to make it a little more logically sound… But, Oh no!
One of your best, John.
I was reading a post yesterday (Christian, naturally) where this same subject was raised oddly enough and the author was at pains to point out that incest was only prohibited by God much later. I wish I could remember the link. I laughed like a drain.
I once pointed out to a couple of female Jehovah’s Witnesses who came to my door proselytizing that if the bible was the inerrant word of God and Adam and Eve were the first of human creation, then when Cain ultimately ran into his wife after being cast out of their post-Eden location she would have had to been a blood relative.
Evidently they had been faced with this question before and were willing to accept that God allowed incest in this case to populate the earth. I then went on to point out a few more blatant errors with their “word of God” and they begged off but promised they would come back to answer my questions. That was about a year ago.
I’ve worked on films where one person prodiuced, dierected and edited the film and it always turtnms out to be a disaster. Oh, wait a minute………………..oh dear.
Thank the Zoroastrians, it was their idea. Double-thanks to the proto-Israelite’s who didn’t have the creative or intellectual nuance to see the silliness and change it after they pilfered the story 😉
But how else can we indoctrinate children if we can’t tell them the story of how they’re evil… Seriously, brother, we have to diagnose them with the imaginary disease or else we can’t sell them the imaginary cure! 🙂
The religionists are a funny lot. They come find you well, having a beer and tell you they have a cure for a problem which hitherto you didn’t have! A crazy lot indeed.
“You say you’ve got the cure, but I don’t have a disease
And you say you’ve got the answers, but I’ve made no inquiries.” – Tomas Kalnoky, Streetlight Manifesto
Click . . . guffaw! Not only that but the remaining two boys went off to the land of Nod to find wives. WTF? Those other women must have been made by another God, so we have been worshiping the wrong guy ever since!
Couple people pointed this out already, but yeah, Cain gets banished to Nod, a city already settled. By whom? Doesn’t say… Were those people created by God? Doesn’t say… Were they other offspring of Adam and Even that just said fuck it let’s make our own city? Doesn’t say… Biblical literalism at its best!!
Ha, they have the same answer to every question. Have you heard their theory that the reason we value gold is because it was a valuable resource to our ancient alien overlords?
I actually took the time to watch Ancient Aliens Debunked, which is free online. It’s amazing how much they blatantly lie, and basically steal everything from a writer in the 60s who also blatantly lied about all of his evidence. Not quite as entertaining as the show, but if you enjoy actual information, it’s worth a viewing.
Blah-di-blah-di-blah… I suppose you’re going to try and say the Egyptians actually knew how to draw a triangle, right? Logan, in the age of information ignorance is a choice. 🙂
If we suspend disbelief and accept that Adam and Eve lived somewhere in the Middle East (which I know is untrue/utter fantasy that they lived at all), then why is everyone in the poster appear what is commonly termed “White”?
Naturally they are white, since the Abrahamic god is a perfect being and made Adam in his image. Who could imagine a white male is not the peak example of perfectness? I mean we have invented such glorious stuff as colonialism, holocaust and bombers and such necessary things as sportscars. It makes perfect sense inside the story, that the people today are so flawed, because they have been inbread again and again very badly in the beginning. It was only through the fact that Adam (and Eve along him) was made in the image of perfectness, so from their perfect genes there could be some downgrading through intensive inbreeding by their offspring, whithout the entire species to die out. Allthough, even if this explains anything, it certainly does not look too good for the alledged intelligence of the designer, does it?
On the other hand, if the story is true, the claims about the intelligence of the designer are based only on rather – well, let’s face it – clumsy and awkward revelations from this designer “himself” and on the evaluation of the designer and these silly and obviously erroneous revelations by these inbred idiots of our species still suffering from such failures made by the designer as sin and the devil.
Funny how the teleological (watchmaker) argument for god was presented in any seriousness considering the creation myth of the story (which it seeks to justify) is so insanely illogical… the exact opposite of a well-design system/watch.
Then again, are you suggesting sports cars AREN’T the work of god? Filthy heathen!
BTW, what’s up with this? Sorry, no English translation. The banner says it all
Whow, yes, the Finnish evangelicals support Israel fiercely. I mean, it has become some sort of dogma for them, that what ever Israleli politicians and military does, it must be justified, because – god…
I guess there are several reasons totally off topic to your post, but just to name few, the evangelical Christians are a rather small but vocal minority in Finland and they seem to feel they have been pressed by the majority. This of course is a sign of the end times, because as they remember Finland used to be almost homogenously Lutheran country, just few decades ago, but when it became optional, the churhc has been on a rapid and increasing decline of memberships and now the Lutheran state church has done the abominable and accepted women as priests and are not too loudly against gays, or anything. Hence, naturally, the evangelical loonies think the end times must be here and there is some important role Israel must play in order for them to recieve their promised paradise. Then there is the blue and white flag of a small country under pressure by eastern un-Christian neighbours and all that…
I must say, I find it appaling, that when the Israeli military murdered some UN soldiers in 2006 among whom was a Finnish military inspector, the Evangelicals in this country immideatly started to come up whith excuses for the Israeli conduct.
On the other hand since there have been so many Finns serving in that particular crisis, it gets harder and harder for them to excuse the arrogance of Israelis towards the UN.
Arrogance to all other nations, for that matter. The sheer disregard they showed by forging passports from the UK, Australia, New Zealand and Canada was beyond disturbing. They wilfully endangered the lives of Australian citizens by this blatant criminal action… and never even apologised! They broke every international law and literally thumbed their noses at peaceful nations. That’s inexcusable.
Well, there is this notion in Israel, that never again shall the Jewish people be opressed by others, like they used to be for centuries. Combine that whith the fact that as a people they have a religion, that declares them to have the birhtright of being chosen by the creator entity of the universe and suddenly all the other people may appear as “untermensch”.
Now, I know that the comparrison to nazies may be harsh, but segragation of races is essentially nazism. Oh, the misery, that the people who suffered most terribly of the violence of the nazies is now oppressing others in the very same fashion. What is the “ultimate solution” to the “Palestinian problem”? Drive them all away – perhaps to Madagasgar? And what, if that fails?
The relationship between the Jews and evangelical Christians is a curious one though. Both are trying to exploit the other and both are certain that the same god is not only justifying it, but down right telling them to do so, in order to run trhough some divine plan this god is seemingly unable to complete on his own powers. Interresting concept, that both sides have to act as if these were their best buddies, when it is only very selfish self interrest, that really drives this co-operation. Interresting is also how the god is percieved both all-mighty, but seemingly unable to act whithout humans workin for a goal set by this god.
The levels of insanity being practiced here is difficult to comprehend. This is beyond simple willful ignorance. The Israelis acting no differently to the Nazi’s is clear proof of that, and you’re right to point it out. It’s a dangerous and destructive (and ultimately violent) delusion.The sooner we classify this type of ludicrous behaviour as a mental illness the better for all concerned.
Life is just a cline of delusional beliefs John, just depends on which ones you like the sound of the best. Being that any notion of sober truth is based on the lies… oops!… sorry metaphors/stories that we tell ourselves and others, and that the transfer of information is predominantly linguistic, and given that any verbal communication, verbal or non is at best are highly subjective then as said, take your pick, any one, everyone’s a winner!
Granted some ‘truths’ are slightly more beneficial than others, but one man’s truth is not necessarily another man’s truth, nor is it necessarily that beneficial to said man. Language you see makes salesmen of us all. Pedlars of our own personal wares, explicitly belief systems.
I haven’t seen it yet. It’s good to know that my logic has legs though, even if you agree with it vicariously through a film, expressed as a sense of honesty. I’ll take what ever I can get JZ!
thesuperstitiousnakedape.wordpress.com 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
The interesting point, is that in many non-abrahamic creation myths, (the) god(s) did not create a single original human couple; but instead several humans of both genders.
LikeLike
Wise. The Judaic creation myth is stolen, anyway, from Zoroastrianism where Adam and Eve are named Mashya and Mashyana. Now, you’d think having a script to work off they’d do some necessary editing to make it a little more logically sound… But, Oh no!
LikeLike
Otherwise known as the ‘fuck all’ hypothesis.
LikeLike
A fine a school of thought until it splinted into the “Fuck it all…. I’m going fishing”
LikeLike
One of your best, John.
I was reading a post yesterday (Christian, naturally) where this same subject was raised oddly enough and the author was at pains to point out that incest was only prohibited by God much later. I wish I could remember the link. I laughed like a drain.
LikeLike
Cheers Ark, can’t claim ownership of this one, though. I merely tweaked it.
LikeLike
“Needs must” or “any port in a storm”. 😉
LikeLike
Shielding yourself from reality, you mean, Mick?
LikeLike
Reality and bible stories: I can’t see the connection.
LikeLike
For obvious reasons! 🙂
LikeLike
For some this might be called “Getting your own back” …
LikeLike
At your mother?
LikeLike
I was thinking from the viewpoint of their dear old Mum.
Is it recommended behaviour in Christianity? Dammit, they were all doing it—must be one of them cultural fings, Guv …
LikeLike
I once pointed out to a couple of female Jehovah’s Witnesses who came to my door proselytizing that if the bible was the inerrant word of God and Adam and Eve were the first of human creation, then when Cain ultimately ran into his wife after being cast out of their post-Eden location she would have had to been a blood relative.
Evidently they had been faced with this question before and were willing to accept that God allowed incest in this case to populate the earth. I then went on to point out a few more blatant errors with their “word of God” and they begged off but promised they would come back to answer my questions. That was about a year ago.
LikeLike
If you want to make them cry then arm yourself with the DNA evidence. Why Evolution is True has a great article on it:
http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2011/06/02/adam-and-eve-the-ultimate-standoff-between-science-and-faith-and-a-contest/
LikeLike
I’ve worked on films where one person prodiuced, dierected and edited the film and it always turtnms out to be a disaster. Oh, wait a minute………………..oh dear.
LikeLike
B’whahaaa! That instantly made me think of Andy Warhol’s 1963 five hour masterpiece, Sleep.
LikeLike
Great segue to Freud’s Oedipus Complex.
LikeLike
INCEST: A game the whole family can play!
LikeLike
Holy fuck – and I mean that literally. Great post 🙂
LikeLike
Low fruit, but good for a windy-Wednesday chuckle 🙂
LikeLike
fucking creative. john zande, you’re awesome
LikeLike
Thank the Zoroastrians, it was their idea. Double-thanks to the proto-Israelite’s who didn’t have the creative or intellectual nuance to see the silliness and change it after they pilfered the story 😉
LikeLike
No John, there should be age restrictions, we don’t want our children learning all this stuff!
Great piece of work you are my friend! Very creative
LikeLike
But how else can we indoctrinate children if we can’t tell them the story of how they’re evil… Seriously, brother, we have to diagnose them with the imaginary disease or else we can’t sell them the imaginary cure! 🙂
LikeLike
Smashing stuff sir.
LikeLike
Capital!
LikeLike
The religionists are a funny lot. They come find you well, having a beer and tell you they have a cure for a problem which hitherto you didn’t have! A crazy lot indeed.
LikeLike
“You say you’ve got the cure, but I don’t have a disease
And you say you’ve got the answers, but I’ve made no inquiries.” – Tomas Kalnoky, Streetlight Manifesto
LikeLike
Oh, I like that!
LikeLike
Incredible musician. Going to see them in a month!
LikeLike
Click . . . guffaw! Not only that but the remaining two boys went off to the land of Nod to find wives. WTF? Those other women must have been made by another God, so we have been worshiping the wrong guy ever since!
LikeLike
Ahhhh, I want to worship the god who makes whole women! That’s a gooood god 🙂
LikeLike
And again you provide an LOL moment. Cheers to you and your mother for giving birth to such an brilliant child.
LikeLike
Oh, I saw what you did there! 😉
LikeLike
And I knew you would. My goal is to sneak one by you. 😉
LikeLike
It’s all to do with timing. You could drive Jupiter past me before my first coffee and i wouldn’t notice.
LikeLike
Couple people pointed this out already, but yeah, Cain gets banished to Nod, a city already settled. By whom? Doesn’t say… Were those people created by God? Doesn’t say… Were they other offspring of Adam and Even that just said fuck it let’s make our own city? Doesn’t say… Biblical literalism at its best!!
LikeLike
Ancient Alien Theorists have an answer to all those questions!
LikeLike
Ha, they have the same answer to every question. Have you heard their theory that the reason we value gold is because it was a valuable resource to our ancient alien overlords?
LikeLike
Of course! Giorgio Tsoukalos told me, so it has to be real.
LikeLike
I actually took the time to watch Ancient Aliens Debunked, which is free online. It’s amazing how much they blatantly lie, and basically steal everything from a writer in the 60s who also blatantly lied about all of his evidence. Not quite as entertaining as the show, but if you enjoy actual information, it’s worth a viewing.
LikeLike
Blah-di-blah-di-blah… I suppose you’re going to try and say the Egyptians actually knew how to draw a triangle, right? Logan, in the age of information ignorance is a choice. 🙂
LikeLike
Did you just come up with that? Cuz that’s a quote for the ages right there.
LikeLike
Nah, can’t claim it. Don’t know who came up with it, but its a beauty.
LikeLike
Ah, Anonymous, the wisest man who never lived.
LikeLike
Reblogged this on hitchens67 Atheism WOW!! Campaign and commented:
This is too fucking funny for words!
LikeLike
Cain, the original mother fucker. But in his defense, his mom does look pretty hot. 🙂
LikeLike
You go for the clear, demon eyes, huh? 🙂
LikeLike
I was just wondering about this the other day. Looks like we’re all inbred yokels!
LikeLike
Throws a bit of a wet blanket over the whole Intelligent Design nonsense, doesn’t it?
LikeLike
If we suspend disbelief and accept that Adam and Eve lived somewhere in the Middle East (which I know is untrue/utter fantasy that they lived at all), then why is everyone in the poster appear what is commonly termed “White”?
LikeLike
As puzzling as the Swedish Jesus! 🙂
LikeLike
Naturally they are white, since the Abrahamic god is a perfect being and made Adam in his image. Who could imagine a white male is not the peak example of perfectness? I mean we have invented such glorious stuff as colonialism, holocaust and bombers and such necessary things as sportscars. It makes perfect sense inside the story, that the people today are so flawed, because they have been inbread again and again very badly in the beginning. It was only through the fact that Adam (and Eve along him) was made in the image of perfectness, so from their perfect genes there could be some downgrading through intensive inbreeding by their offspring, whithout the entire species to die out. Allthough, even if this explains anything, it certainly does not look too good for the alledged intelligence of the designer, does it?
On the other hand, if the story is true, the claims about the intelligence of the designer are based only on rather – well, let’s face it – clumsy and awkward revelations from this designer “himself” and on the evaluation of the designer and these silly and obviously erroneous revelations by these inbred idiots of our species still suffering from such failures made by the designer as sin and the devil.
LikeLike
Funny how the teleological (watchmaker) argument for god was presented in any seriousness considering the creation myth of the story (which it seeks to justify) is so insanely illogical… the exact opposite of a well-design system/watch.
Then again, are you suggesting sports cars AREN’T the work of god? Filthy heathen!
BTW, what’s up with this? Sorry, no English translation. The banner says it all
http://video.br.msn.com/watch/video/em-jerusalem-evangelicos-de-todo-o-mundo-marcham-em-solidariedade-a-israel/1gica16j3
LikeLike
Whow, yes, the Finnish evangelicals support Israel fiercely. I mean, it has become some sort of dogma for them, that what ever Israleli politicians and military does, it must be justified, because – god…
I guess there are several reasons totally off topic to your post, but just to name few, the evangelical Christians are a rather small but vocal minority in Finland and they seem to feel they have been pressed by the majority. This of course is a sign of the end times, because as they remember Finland used to be almost homogenously Lutheran country, just few decades ago, but when it became optional, the churhc has been on a rapid and increasing decline of memberships and now the Lutheran state church has done the abominable and accepted women as priests and are not too loudly against gays, or anything. Hence, naturally, the evangelical loonies think the end times must be here and there is some important role Israel must play in order for them to recieve their promised paradise. Then there is the blue and white flag of a small country under pressure by eastern un-Christian neighbours and all that…
I must say, I find it appaling, that when the Israeli military murdered some UN soldiers in 2006 among whom was a Finnish military inspector, the Evangelicals in this country immideatly started to come up whith excuses for the Israeli conduct.
On the other hand since there have been so many Finns serving in that particular crisis, it gets harder and harder for them to excuse the arrogance of Israelis towards the UN.
LikeLike
Arrogance to all other nations, for that matter. The sheer disregard they showed by forging passports from the UK, Australia, New Zealand and Canada was beyond disturbing. They wilfully endangered the lives of Australian citizens by this blatant criminal action… and never even apologised! They broke every international law and literally thumbed their noses at peaceful nations. That’s inexcusable.
LikeLike
Well, there is this notion in Israel, that never again shall the Jewish people be opressed by others, like they used to be for centuries. Combine that whith the fact that as a people they have a religion, that declares them to have the birhtright of being chosen by the creator entity of the universe and suddenly all the other people may appear as “untermensch”.
Now, I know that the comparrison to nazies may be harsh, but segragation of races is essentially nazism. Oh, the misery, that the people who suffered most terribly of the violence of the nazies is now oppressing others in the very same fashion. What is the “ultimate solution” to the “Palestinian problem”? Drive them all away – perhaps to Madagasgar? And what, if that fails?
The relationship between the Jews and evangelical Christians is a curious one though. Both are trying to exploit the other and both are certain that the same god is not only justifying it, but down right telling them to do so, in order to run trhough some divine plan this god is seemingly unable to complete on his own powers. Interresting concept, that both sides have to act as if these were their best buddies, when it is only very selfish self interrest, that really drives this co-operation. Interresting is also how the god is percieved both all-mighty, but seemingly unable to act whithout humans workin for a goal set by this god.
LikeLike
The levels of insanity being practiced here is difficult to comprehend. This is beyond simple willful ignorance. The Israelis acting no differently to the Nazi’s is clear proof of that, and you’re right to point it out. It’s a dangerous and destructive (and ultimately violent) delusion.The sooner we classify this type of ludicrous behaviour as a mental illness the better for all concerned.
LikeLike
Life is just a cline of delusional beliefs John, just depends on which ones you like the sound of the best. Being that any notion of sober truth is based on the lies… oops!… sorry metaphors/stories that we tell ourselves and others, and that the transfer of information is predominantly linguistic, and given that any verbal communication, verbal or non is at best are highly subjective then as said, take your pick, any one, everyone’s a winner!
Granted some ‘truths’ are slightly more beneficial than others, but one man’s truth is not necessarily another man’s truth, nor is it necessarily that beneficial to said man. Language you see makes salesmen of us all. Pedlars of our own personal wares, explicitly belief systems.
LikeLike
That’s the message in The Life of Pi. Saw it last weekend for the first time and was impressed with its honesty.
LikeLike
I haven’t seen it yet. It’s good to know that my logic has legs though, even if you agree with it vicariously through a film, expressed as a sense of honesty. I’ll take what ever I can get JZ!
LikeLike
HiLArious
LikeLike
Genesis is the lowest of low fruit, but good for a laugh from time to time 🙂
LikeLike
I can hear Don Lafontaine’s gravelly voiceover for the trailer:
In a time… when your mother is the only female on earth… two men filled with desire… coming soon.
LikeLike
Followed by the excited yips of joyous anticipation from all the kiddies watching 🙂
LikeLike
Now that is a killer metaphor! I guess I fell off my chair laughing instead… damn you! 😀
LikeLike
To entertain is my goal 🙂
LikeLike
BAHAHA! Thank you kind sir…
LikeLike
Pleasure!
LikeLike
how odd, they’re all Caucasian.
LikeLike
Of course they are! God is from Stockholm, didn’t you know?
LikeLike
oh right, right, i forgot. viva les vikings
LikeLike
Especially like the general admission detail…
LikeLike
Family viewing, right?
LikeLike
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahah. John, you need to add a Google+ button, as I’d love to share this on G+!
This is EPIC!
LikeLike
Share away. I didn’t do this one from scratch, just changed a meme i found to read a little better.
LikeLike
You couldn’t do better
LikeLike
What an entertaining read that has been! Love your poster and each carefully chosen word. What uproar that trailer would cause! Go for it!! 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks Sally. Good to see you got home safely from your American adventures.
LikeLike
If there is literally a swear in the title, how did it manage to get G rated? Just sayin’………
LikeLiked by 1 person
Standards these days 😉
LikeLike
*insert really sarcastic comment about Disney because I can’t think of one right now*
LikeLiked by 1 person